Secrets and Lies

Found out our Print Stealing New Devil Twins, Brent & Brice, weren't on file in our permission slip folder after all. So I have no way of tattling on them to their mom. Of course, since they don't have permission slips, they also won't be using the computers any more until they get their mom to fill out a couple. And when they do, I'll tattle on them to their mom.

The twins came in and tried to sign up for computers on Monday, when Mrs. C was running the joint solo. She'd read my note about the darn nigh quarter ream of paper they'd printed and stolen, Sunday, and had already checked the permission slip folder for them. When she told them they couldn't have computers without a permission slip they were plenty pissed. So mad, in fact, that she didn't even bother to bless them out for their theft of our paper and ink. Instead, Mrs. C gave them permission slips to take home for signing. If they return with them, we'll ban them until they pay up and also tattle to their mom.

Beyond them, though, I'm getting royally sick of deceptive patrons.

A mom and her two daughters came in yesterday to check out some videos and a few books. As they were browsing, I overheard both of the daughters tell their mom they'd forgotten their library cards. I figured I was going to be in for a fight when they were ready to leave until Mom decided to get a card for herself. No problem. We signed her up for one and she filled it full of eight videos and two of the three books her youngest daughter wanted. I explained that they'd already reached their 10 item limit and would probably need to put something back if they wanted that third book.

"Well can we just sign them up for a card?" Mom asked.

"That depends," I said, sensing the impending ruse. "Do either of them have cards with another area library already?"

Mom was noncommittal on this point. The youngest daughter seemed to waiver on it for a bit too, but finally admitted that, yes, she did have a card with Town-R's library. The older daughter, however, claimed she had no card anywhere.

"You don't have a card at any other area library?" I asked again, just to make sure her statement was on record.

"No," she said.

I raised an eyebrow at this, but decided that if she was lying the computer would soon sort it out. I should have just tried looking for her by name, which would have been quicker, but instead I gave her some rope by letting her fill out an application form. Let's waste everyone's time.

Oldest daughter seemed reluctant to put down an address. When I pressed her for one, she put down her Mom's address in Town-C. Mom asked her why she'd done that, as the girl actually lives with her dad in Town-R. Hearing that, I pointed out that we also had to have the actual physical address where she lived. Daughter didn't seem to like this but took her form and filled out the line, putting down a post office box in Town-R. I pointed out that this wasn't a physical address, so she reluctantly filled out that line too. And, to no one's surprise, as soon as that bit of information was plugged into the computer, it spat up an existing record for her.

"Well, it looks as though you already have a card through TOWN-R's library," I said. I kept my tone diplomatic, implying with it that she had simply made a mistake and not lied through her teeth, her pants aflame, as I knew she had.

"But I don't have a card there," daughter claimed.

"I'm sorry, but this says that you do."

"But they didn't give me a card. They said I didn't need a card," daughter quickly revised. Though I knew she was lying, it still wasn't beyond the realm of possibility. After all, when we first got our new circulation system, some of the area libraries who had not yet received their shipment of new library cards began foolishly issuing patrons new patron accounts anyway. Their logic seemed to be that other libraries were issuing new accounts with new cards, so they didn't want to be left behind just because of a little thing like having no cards. I'd not heard of Town-R doing this, though. And daughter's account actually had one of the new 14 digit card numbers attached to it, which came only pre-printed on our plastic library cards and not a loose sticker, like the old 10 digits, so a card had been issued. Still, I continued to appear to give her the benefit of the doubt.

"Well, they have one of our new card numbers listed here for you, so if they didn't issue you an actual card when you signed up, chances are they'll have one on file for you now. You'll need to see them about it."

"Can't you just give her a card here?" Mom asked.

"No, ma'am. She already has a card. It's one big system and we can only issue one card per patron."

"So she can't check out any books here?"

"Not unless she has her library card," I said.

Mom rolled her eyes and huffed, as though this was the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard of and made a big production of dragging out one of her videos to trade in for younger daughter's book.

Technically I had the capability of going ahead and checking the extra book out on the daughter's card. I could even have rationalized it because I'd already called up her REAL account and verified it had the same physical address she'd given me. I decided not to be nice, though. After all, she wasn't being nice by actively lying to me because it served her purposes. And mom had done nearly everything to aid and abet the girl as well. So I'm not about to reward such collective familial dishonesty like that.

And that's really what makes me sick--that a mother would actively assist her daughter in an obvious lie just so she wouldn't have to put one of her own videos back. I guess I shouldn't be surprised by the selfishness and dishonesty of humanity. I'd be willing to bet I've even been guilty of such in the past myself. I still don't have to like it.