Boy, someone needs a nap

Our major problem patron of the day was a middle-aged lady who seemed somehow offended that all of our computers were full and she couldn't immediately have one. Offended. That's the best way I can think to describe her ire. I told her she could have one in two minutes, when Mr. B-Natural's time ran out. I said this in earshot of Mr. B-Natural, though I didn't mention him by name. Happily, he took it as the hint it was meant to be and relinquished his computer without having to be asked. I put her on it and started the timer for her half hour.

Slightly over half an hour later, we had another rush on the computers and I went back to tell her that her time was up. Again, she was instantly offended.

"But I'm not out of time!" she said.

"Yes, ma'am. I'm afraid you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Ma'am, I was timing you. You got over half an hour."

"Well, I'm used to getting the full hour," she huffed.

"Ma'am, we give patrons half an hour."

"Every time I've come here I've gotten a full hour!"

"That may be the case, ma'am, but it was probably because we don't ask patrons to get off unless someone is waiting."

The woman adopted an even huffier tone. "Well, I've never been told there was a half hour limit."

I calmly reached over and flipped down the orange sign taped to the monitor and pointed to the line that said "TIME LIMIT: 30 MINUTES." I was waiting for her to say that she hadn't seen it, just so I could say that I wasn't responsible for glaringly obvious policy signs that our patrons don't read. (Course, that's technically not true, as I was responsible for creating that particular policy sign that patrons never read.) She declined to go that route. Instead, she took a much more childish one.

"But I'm not finished. I have a lot more to read here and my husband won't be back to pick me up for another half hour!"

My voice remained admirably calm as I said, "Regardless, ma'am, we DO have someone waiting to use this computer and your time IS up." Then I turned and walked away. If she wanted to argue more, she could do so without me. It's the same tactic I used to use on Mr. B-Natural, back when he was a much surlier patron.

Within a minute, the lady had signed off and stomped up front. Just to further irritate her, I decided to continue being terribly nice to her. I cheerfully told her she could sign on for another computer, since we'd have one opening up in about ten minutes. She groused that she wouldn't have enough time, since her husband was coming to get her soon. That's when I realized the joke was on me, since she was going to determinedly stand there in the middle of the room and wait for him for the full half-hour, subjecting me to her unpleasantness. Fortunately, hubby turned up early, but not before she could try to make sour prune small talk, inquiring about the best time of day to try and use the internet here and how she went to college with Mrs. A, my boss.

If that was meant as a veiled threat, I'm not threatened. Mrs. A does not suffer grumpy fools lightly, and I can't imagine her actually being friends with such a grumpy fool as this woman,let alone getting angry with me that I hadn't let her grumpy "friend" violate library policy.