Weekend Interlude

(We'll return to our regular storyline in just a moment, but first a weekend interlude...)

This Friday was supposed to be my Friday off, but Mrs. A asked me to come in anyway. Miss E, our usual Friday night closer, was sick; Mrs. B had to take her mom to the doctor; Mrs. C was taking the day off; and Mrs. H was leaving at 3. I rolled in at 4 to find Mrs. A recovering from a sudden patron rush and the book cart brimming with books to shelve.

I'm glad I came in, though. If I hadn't, I wouldn't have had the pleasure of issuing Paranoid Rick James a library card.

Shortly after Mrs. A left, Rick James's girlfriend Gladys Knight came in. She turned in her books on tape from last week and went back to find some more. A minute later, in walked Rick James. When he saw me at the desk, he almost immediately began digging in his wallet and soon brought out his driver's license.

"I've decided to get a library card," he said.  This flew in the face of his reported tantrum about both getting a library card and having to supply a drivers license to do so from last week.  My theory is that he thought he was somehow saving face by getting me to sign him up since as far as he knew I didn't know anything about said tantrum last week. I smiled and told him to fill out one of our application forms. He did. No fight whatsoever. Put his drivers license number down and a physical address and everything. Then he passed his license over for me to inspect as I began typing in his information.

I was suspicious. Rick was giving in far too easily. What was the trick here? I kept examining his license to make sure it was actually his and not someone else's he was trying to pass off. He seemed far too agreeable to the situation for this not to be a ruse, but I couldn't find anything wrong with it.

"That must be some big database you guys have," Rick said.

"Yeah. Gettin' bigger all the time," I told him.

While I typed, Gladys Knight came back into the main room and caught sight of Rick at the desk.

"What is this?" she said with a knowing grin. "What are you doing?"

"I'm... uh. I decided to go ahead and get a library card," Rick said sheepishly.

"Oh, you did?" Gladys said, now grinning from ear to ear. "So does this mean I get to yell at you for twenty minutes when we get home?"

Rick really seemed to want to change the subject. After I gave him his card, he quickly ushered Gladys back toward the books on tape to continue their discussion out of earshot. I just laughed inwardly.

After a while longer, Gladys came back and checked out some books on tape. She also had a novel that I'd seen Rick walking around with earlier. I knew good and well it was his, but she seemed to want to check it out.

So that was the trick, was it? He was going to get a library card for himself but continue using hers anyway, just to spite us! He'd discovered a way to subvert our system and keep on checking out books semi-anonymously.

Trouble was, I didn't think there was much I could do about it. Sure, I could have raised a stink and told him he had to check the book out on his own card, but I think that's what he wants. He's inclined to cause trouble to begin with and probably wants something to get good and worked up about. Especially since it would just prove to his pea mind that what we're really out to do is keep track of what our patrons read in collusion with "the government". Also, if Gladys wants to check a book out on her card for Rick or anybody else, she's welcome to do so. She's still responsible for the book getting returned to us and if she wants to take on that risk for her boyfriend then who are we to say otherwise?

I checked it all out to her and they left. And maybe I'm just projecting this, but I could have sworn Rick James looked smug.

This irritated me and continued irritating me throughout the rest of the afternoon. I could already foresee what Rick's next move would be. Next time, he will just borrow her card and come in to check out books for himself. And he'll do it with the satisfaction that he's pulling one over on "the man" and subverting our carefully constructed conspiracy to keep track of what he reads.

Oh yeah? Well Rick doesn't know from subversion, I thought. I then went into the records and moved Rick's novel onto his own card. Sure, it was petty and childish of me to do this, but damn it sure felt good. Of course, if he ever sees it there--which I doubt he will--it will confirm his misguided suspicions, but first it will make him extraordinarily mad and he will know who really won the day.