Do this, Don't do that, Can't Ya Read the Signs?

A while back, Mrs. A asked me to redo the signs on our computers. The computer room is just covered in signs to begin with, instructing computer users on the finer points of "liberry" policy regarding the computers. Mostly the signs go unread, but we do have one sign that's hard to miss. On each of the computer monitors we have taped a laminated flip up sign that instructs new computer users that they're going to need to sign in first before they can use the computer. It saves people time, as without that sign they'd just sit back there and try futilely to login for hours. So hopefully they read it, come up front to sign in on the clipboard then we go back, flip up the sign and log them on. The flip signs were looking kind of ratty, though, so Mrs. A wanted me to replace them and Goo-B-Gone the tape residue to clean up the monitors themselves.

I decided that while I was penning a new sign, I might as well incorporate many of the other signs we have back there to consolidate information and perhaps increase the chances that it might actually get read. I also decided to do a first draft of the sign--my dream sign--which I would leave conspicuously on the desk for my fellow staff to enjoy. It read:

BEFORE USING A COMPUTER
YOU MUST SIGN IN AT THE
CIRCULATION DESK. A STAFF
MEMBER WILL LOG YOU ON.

TIME LIMIT: 30 MINUTES.

COMPUTERS WILL BE TURNED
OFF 15 MINUTES PRIOR TO
CLOSING.
(Tue-Fri 6:45,
Sat 1:45,
Sun-Mon 4:45)

PATRONS WHO REFUSE TO
LOG OFF WHEN ASKED WILL
BE HIT SQUAR' IN THE MOUTH.

REMEMBER: THE LIBRARY LOVES YOU.
Of course, this met with universal staff approval. While we're not adopting it as our official sign, we have discussed the possibility of producing REMEMBER: THE LIBRARY LOVES YOU staff T-shirts. They'll go right along with our new Big Brother Millennium Computer system attitude.