An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Thursday, July 01, 2004

Summer Reading Day Two

Once again, I was drafted to come in early to help man the desk for Summer Reading, Week One, Day Two.

I started off by getting there just before 9. Through the window, I spied the rest of the staff gathered in the main room so I began pounding on the front door screaming, "LEMME IN! I GOTTA USE THE INNA-NET!" Unfortunately, I forgot there were several Summer Reading moms sitting in their cars, until I turned and caught some disapproving looks from them.

We have two Summer Reading sessions per week. Today was the under 6 crowd's turn. It actually went much smoother than Monday, though we're not entirely sure why. It might be because the little kids weren't as interested in checking books out as the older ones, so we only saw a handful of them at the desk. Mostly they stayed upstairs, where it sounded as though they were trying to jump through the floor. Course, as old as this place is, nearly any foot traffic up there sounds like that.

We were all prepared for the usual mass chaos, though. We even stationed Mrs. H at her own little desk in the computer hall where she had the sign-up sheet and computer timers. Our plan was to shuffle the usual internet crowd that way so we could concentrate on making cards and helping patrons. Naturally, since we were prepared for them, hardly anyone needed a computer this morning. Still, we're planning to put that system into further practice soon. A guy has recently come in to talk to Mrs. A about working off some hours of community service he'd received. We're planning on sticking him in the computer area. Maybe I can get him to start giving Parka dirty looks, just to save me time.

What little turmoil we did have today was due to a sudden rush on the bathroom by seemingly everyone in the building. Even I was trying to get in there, though only to retrieve our ladder for the local artists to put up their work in our above-the-shelves mini art gallery, which rotates monthly. I tried four times to get the ladder, but every time I would go back, I'd knock and hear a different voice say, "Just a minute..." So the artists had quite a wait.

We also had to dismiss Ron the Ripper, today. No, I didn't become enraged at for his ripping up our magazines and go "Chester" on his ass. Instead, when Ron came in with his aid, Mrs. A stopped them and explained that there were no tables upstairs for him to sit at to rip up said magazines due to Summer Reading having taken over the space. He didn't even give us a single caveman growl of disappointment. He just turned and left without a fight. I guess he was feeling "too cool" for that, in his stylin' new bucket hat, which was made from a very loud patterned fabric that looked like it would be more at home as a pair of Bermuda shorts than a hat.

Damn, that reminds me... I still haven't revealed his secret identity.

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