Thursday, July 15, 2004

Cap'n Crossdresser and the World of Tomorrow!

I'd barely been on shift for half an hour when Cap'n Crossdresser walked through the "liberry's" door.
Today the good Cap'n was wearing a spaghetti-strap floral print sun dress with brown pumps.  I don't think he had a purse, but his appearance stirred things up quite a bit, as you might expect.
All of my previous encounters with the Cap'n have been when I was working by myself.  It's SO much easier not to crack up laughing at a Bozo-haired man in a dress when you don't have three fellow employees around you who are also trying not to crack up.  It was all we could do to wipe the smiles off our faces whenever the Cap'n walked through.
As usual, he went back and used a computer for a while before coming up front to browse the shelves. 
When I walked back to the computer hall to sign someone on the Cap'n's former computer, another female computer patron looked up at me and loudly said, "Okay, I just have to say ask...  Was that man wearing a dress?"  
I immediately held up a finger to my lips to shush her and pointed back toward the front room, silently indicating that the man in the dress was still well within earshot.  The woman looked a little sheepish at this, then leaned closer to me and said in a low voice, "So... what?  He's a transvestite?"
I shrugged and nodded. 
The woman instantly recoiled in apparent disgust at the idea.
Now, I wouldn't go so far as to call the Cap'n disgusting.  He's certainly not pretty and is about the least womanly man in a dress you'd ever care to see.  He also has an amount of body hair that is encroaching on the extreme levels that Parka recently exhibited, but at no time did I want to claw my own eyes out at the sight of him.  In fact, I welcome the Cap'n!  He's already one of our best patrons, is always polite, never personally causes trouble and he always livens things up just by being himself.  He's out there and fancy free, living his life to the fullest--albeit in a dress.  Sure, he looks like somebody's uncle but what's a big burly half bald lumberjack-looking man gonna do if he has such a deep-seated urge to wear a spaghetti strap sun dress out in public.  At least it matched his shoes!
I gave the woman a half-dirty look and went back to the circulation desk.  Presently, Cap'n Crossdresser applied for a new library card, which I proudly made without even cracking a smile while my fellow employees hid themselves.  He never gave me any indication that he'd heard the lady at the computer, but I'm sure he probably did.  He has to be used to everyone commenting and cracking up around him. 
The Cap'n took his new card and walked out the door in a most manly fashion, clomping his feet along, his sundress swaying as he went. 

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.