Both the official and unofficial investigations into the theft of the "liberry's" laptop are going frustratingly slow. [See Legion of Evil Doers (with Bashful Bladders), Tales of the Bladder Thief and Drama, Drama, Drama to find out where we last left our Junior "Liberry" Detectives.]
The suspects in the case, Jimmy the "Anonymous" Snitch
and the Amazing Bladderboy, continue to flaunt their guilt by coming in
to use the computers. Actually, only Jimmy uses the computers;
Bladderboy usually goes upstairs, (where I'm happy to say he's found the
upstairs restroom annoyingly locked at all times, should he have
attempted to get into it), or sits in a chair near the computers.
It annoys me tremendously that they do this, mostly
because I'm not allowed to give them dirty looks and make snide comments
about their not needing to use our computers since they already stole
our #$!%ing laptop, as I don't want to tip-off Bladderboy that we're
onto him, prompting him to ditch any incriminating evidence, or, as is
the case, tip off the current possessor of our laptop into ditching it.
Herein lies the problem. According to Jimmy the
Snitch's original anonymous letter, the laptop is no longer even in
Bladderboy's possession, as he's already passed it off to a third party
Meanwhile, there's been little word from the police as
to whether they've contacted Jimmy the Snitch regarding his anonymous
note to us claiming he knows who horked our laptop and that he's willing
to turn-in said weak-bladdered asshole and his third party friend.
Mrs. A decided to simply confront Jimmy the Snitch about the matter.
One day when Jimmy was in, sans Bladderboy, Mrs. A
drug him up to her office and put the question to him: Are you gonna
piss or get off the pot? I'm paraphrasing, of course, but that's the
gist. Was Jimmy planning to get off his ass and rat out his thieving
friends any time soon so we might have some hope of getting our laptop
Jimmy whined that the third party friend who has the
laptop is out of town at the moment, but would be coming back and at
such a time Jimmy thinks he can probably get the laptop and get it back
to us. Mrs. A pointed out that this might lead to an asskicking or
worse if Jimmy's friends ever noted that we had our laptop back. He
didn't seem to concerned, which leads me to think he no longer has any
intentions of helping us and is just trying to pacify Mrs. A. I say
this because we know that Jimmy frequently gets beat up. We presume
that Bladderboy is the one doing the beating, but we don't know that for
(Of course, my solution to all this would be to inform
Jimmy that if he doesn't hurry up and rat his thieving friends out,
we're going to inform his thieving friends of his treachery against them
and let them all sort it out on their own with their own methods.
Unfortunately, this might lead to Jimmy's death and/or dismemberment, so
I can't in good conscience go through with such a plan.)
Jimmy tried to assure Mrs. A that he didn't think his
third party friend would try to sell the laptop, or if he did he might
try to pawn it somewhere. (I imagine the police have thought of this.)
Unfortunately, our own Junior Detective work has lead
to the discovery that the Compaq laptop serial number Jimmy quoted in
his anonymous note is not in fact a serial number from a Compaq laptop
at all, but is, at best, the part number from a Compaq laptop battery.
(Asshole!) We have since confirmed the actual serial number of our
laptop, after an irritatingly long time spent on the phone with Compaq,
so if the police ever find the damned thing they can match it all up.
As to whether Jimmy's third party friend is planning
to sell it, that's still up in the air. In fact, a startlingly similar
Compaq notebook has appeared in the local want-ads of the paper. Mrs. A
called the number of the guy who's selling it and asked him a few
pointed questions as to what model it is. She managed to get a model
number out of him on the pretense that she wanted to look it up on
Now this is where it gets even foggier and more
frustrating... As of this writing, I don't know if Mrs. A or Mrs. C has
actually looked up the laptop to see if it's even the same kind as was
stolen from us. I also don't know if they've passed this info on to the
police. I'm hoping they have, but things have moved rather slow in
that direction thus far and Mrs. A was not around for me to ask. Here's
hoping Thursday goes better.