Okay. We've had a lot of drama at the liberry lately, but today really pushed it to a new level.
Remember a couple weeks back when we had our laptop stolen? Remember how, clever Junior Detectives that we are, we had narrowed down
the list of suspects to two people, one of which had been a daily
computer user UNTIL the theft of the laptop? Well there have been new
developments in the case and we've FINALLY called the police about it.
Now, mind you, the entire "liberry" staff has been
BEGGING Mrs. A to call the cops about the theft since it all went down.
I don't know why she didn't want to, unless maybe it's because all our
evidence as to who did it was based on a hunch. Thankfully, hunches
have now been abandoned.
Today, (before I arrived, of course), one of our key
suspects came in and asked if he could speak with my fellow Liberry Ass.
Mrs. B in private outside. Let's call him Jimmy the Snitch. So
Jimmy tells Mrs. B that he knows who took the laptop and he wants to
turn the person in but he wishes to remain anonymous while he does it.
He said that he didn't learn of the theft of the laptop for four days
after it occurred and once he found out about it he decided he wanted no
part of it. According to Jimmy, the laptop's hard drive has been wiped
clean and has actually been given to a third party at this point by the
second party who originally stole it. Jimmy is willing to provide
evidence about the laptop, but he's scared and doesn't want the second
party--let's call him The Amazing Bladderboy, as it was his bashful bladder
that lead him to our private bathroom where the laptop was stored in
the first place--to learn that Jimmy was the one who'd snitched on him.
Jimmy also doesn't want the cops to think HE had anything to do with it
because Jimmy the Snitch has a long history with the local law
enforcement already. He's been brought up on embezzlement charges and
taken to court on more than one occasion, including one several years
ago where our own Mrs. C served on his jury and was only unable to help
convict his ass that time because the evidence was too weak.
You think the drama's flying thick yet? Oh, no. It gets better.
Not only are Jimmy the Snitch and the Amazing
Bladderboy friends... they are also LOVERS! Well, maybe WERE is the
more appropriate word here...
Still, the fact that they ever were leads me to ask the question, what the hell is it with our library and half-assed gay master-criminals? I mean, we already had the Untalented Mr. Ripley and the Even Less Talented Mr. Ripley... now we've got Jimmy & Bladderboy too?
So anyways... Jimmy not only tells Mrs. B he knows who
took the laptop, but he gives her a nice typed up anonymous note to
that effect too. It even includes the make and serial number of the
laptop for added authenticity. Pretty sweet no? What he doesn't give
is the name of the person who took it, i.e. Bladderboy. Then Jimmy the
Snitch leaves, saying that if the police are interested he's willing to
Mrs. C calls Mrs. A, who's out of town, to let her
know all of this and Mrs. A finally relents and tells Mrs. C to call the
cops and get the ball rolling on the official investigation (I guess
since we've already pretty much wrapped up the un-official one). So
Mrs. C calls a guy on the force that she knows, but has to leave a
message for him as he's out.
Bout this time, I amble in and hear the above sordid
details. I say I figure Jimmy's probably telling the truth about not
being in on the laptop's theft since he knows full well that Mrs. C
works there and that she had served on the jury against him all those
years before and has no great love for him in the first place so she
would most certainly suspect his previously-nearly-convicted ass of stealing the laptop in the first place, which is exactly what had happened. Makes sense to me, at least.
Now it's all pretty dramatic up to this point. You'd think we were bout drama'd out for the day, no? Uh uh.
"Isn't that the guy?" Mrs. B said from her position by the liberry's front window.
A moment later the door bumps open and Bladderboy
himself comes in. Not only that, but he looks SUPER PISSED. He stalks
through our main room and then back toward the computer hall where he
has a look at the people there. Evidently he was looking for buddy
Jimmy, who wasn't there, so he stalks back through and out the door.
Mrs. B, still at the window, quickly notes Bladderboy's license plate
number as he drives off, earning her yet another gold star on her Junior
Detective Score Card.
By mid afternoon we'd finally gotten through to Mrs.
C's policeman friend and he came down to take possession of the
anonymous note from Jimmy, plus Bladderboy's license number and to hear
our version of the whole matter.
"Wow. You all are doing some detective work here," the officer said.
"Are you kidding? This place is information central," I told him.
"So I should probably be coming up here for tips more often?"
TO BE CONTINUED...