Monday, February 23, 2004

Monday, Monday--Can't Trust That Day

I don't think I've had to work a Monday since starting this blog last November. This is a good thing, cause Monday's suuuuuuck.

"Oh, Juice," I hear you saying in a sing-song he doesn't know what he's talking about voice. "Monday's suck for everybody, not just you."

Yes, I am aware of this. But allow me to assure you, Mondays at the liberry suck even harder than all that. You know that new Catwoman movie coming out this summer, starring Halle Berry in the title role? You know that one? You focused on it? Okay, not to be gross, but that movie's gonna suck some serious goat wang. In fact, my pal Joe says that goats are already lining up with packs of cigarettes tucked into their shirt sleeves, raring to go due to the extreme suckage that that movie's gonna exert on the goat-wang populace.

Monday's at the liberry suck even more that that!

Now in theory, liberry Mondays don't look so bad. After all, we don't open until 1 p.m. on Mondays, as opposed to the butt-crack of dawn 9 a.m. (See, already I'm losing the sympathy of the early-rising readers.) And we get to close at 5 instead of 7. This is really not so good, though.

See, despite the fact that the liberry has been opening at 1 p.m. for well over a decade now, none of our patrons have actually paid attention to this fact. Every Monday, Mrs. C--who normally works Mondays and comes in at 9 anyway to get the Inter-Library Loans done--says that from the time she gets to work until 1 she hears nothing but patron after patron pounding on the door to get in, oblivious to the giant sign she's hung on it that says we don't open until 1 p.m. No one reads the sign, at least not until they've pounded on the door for a while first.

And every week, once the doors are finally opened, Mrs. C hears the same thing from a different patron: "When did you all start opening at 1 on Mondays?"

"Over ten years ago," she tells them.

Or better still, she'll hear: "You know, if you're going to start opening late/closing early on Mondays, you need to inform the public first."

Well, it's been well over a decade now. We think the public has had time enough to start paying some attention.


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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.