Thursday, January 29, 2004

Notes on FRICKIN' Today!!

Sweet merciful crap! I think it's shit on the seat week at the liberry.

Minutes before I arrived at work today, the Dufus was in to use the computer. When he finished using the computer--an amazing enough feat in and of itself as I've rarely witnessed him leave the computer of his own volition before--he decided he'd use the bathroom. And use it he did!

When I came in, the entire computer hall and much of the stairwell smelled like burning matches. This is because Mrs. A had to brave the cloud of ass funk he left behind to light twenty matches in the bathroom to help cut the stench. And Mrs. C had to clean the seat afterwards from where the Dufus had shat upon it!!!

I know the Dufus wasn't responsible for yesterday's turd festival because he wasn't in the liberry at all. But today was definitely him. He's getting moved back to the active column of the Rogues Gallery for that repugnant behavior.

What is this world coming to that people can't check a toilet seat to make sure they haven't inadvertently soiled it after an ass blowout. AND WHY CAN'T THEY #$%&ING AIM THEIR KEISTERS IN THE BOWL IN THE FIRST PLACE?!!!

Buncha savages in this town!

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.