Wednesday, January 28, 2004

The FAFSA Diversion!

Sounds like a Robert Ludlum title, eh?

Chester the (dear God, I sure do hope he's only a Potential) Molester popped in today. We'd already seen his car out front a half hour earlier, which meant he was in the area, probably for his weekly mental health visit down at the local social services place, but intended to come back and inflict himself upon us and needed his car to be close by for that eventuality. With that foreknowledge, we did a magazine rack inventory so we'd know what was there before his visit and what to accuse him of should he take one.

There were children in house when Chester finally shuffled in, so I stood sentinel over the front room and children's room, as usual, while Mrs. A ran upstairs to run interference on Chester himself.

Sure enough, after determining there were no kids upstairs, he headed right for the magazine rack where he was met by Mrs. A, who was using the excuse that she was putting out new magazines. She even said, "Hi. How're you doing?" as she stepped up beside him, a crisp new and no doubt tantalizing copy of Seventeen in her mitts. She reported later that Chester looked at her nervously and quickly grabbed a FAFSA (Free Application for Federal Student Aid) booklet and fled down the stairs.

I saw him coming and stood guard, watching as he made a big production of folding up his FAFSA book and stuffing it into the interior of his ratty vest. Perhaps I just imagined it, but it seemed to me that Chester looked more than a little irritated. Maybe those FAFSA booklets are piling up at his house.

EWWWW! I just imagined Chester's house.

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.