An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Friday, January 09, 2004

Interim Interludes

Found out I missed some "liberry" fun while I was gone.

  • Some local teenagers came in for "liberry" cards. One of them had the last name of Cooper and insisted that his library card read "Alice Cooper" despite the fact that his real name was Justin. When Mrs. C told him we were going to have to put his real name on the card, he got angry and said "Well, fine! I just won't get one at all!" Then he and his cronies stormed out. As irritated as I would have been had I been the "liberry ass." on duty that day, I think I would have been far more perplexed that this 15 year old kid had even heard of Alice Cooper. I'm not knocking Alice, mind you, just that the idea that some kid around here might be a fan of a musician whose heyday was nearly 20 years before his birth seems a triffle odd to me. Almost makes you want to forgive the slight.


  • Last weekend, a different kid than the above one managed to fall down the stairs and break his arm. Miss E was the only "liberry ass." on duty and was a bit perplexed about what to do, (being as how she's a highschool senior herself). Fortunately the kid's dad was with him and after a cautious examination of the arm, the dad loaded kid up and headed, presumably, for the hospital. I imagine this little episode will prompt us to put up yet another sign. We already have the walls by the computer area coated in signs with such disclaimers as "Before using a computer, patrons must sign in at the front desk and let a staff member log you on" and "We reserve the right to turn off the computers if patrons refuse to log off when asked"and "Printing is .10 cents per page. You print it, you pay for it. No exceptions" even though there are, like, five exceptions to this rule. Now we'll need one saying, "We are not responsible for your lack of motor skills. Please don't break your damn ass while climbing up or down our stairs as it may lead to a damn broken ass. Oh, and by the way, hot coffee is HOT!"
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