By now I'm used to seeing unsettling things when I go in to inspect the men's restroom at the beginning of my shift and often at the end of the day. However, I was at a loss to explain what I found on the seat of our toilet when inspecting it today.
I found wet leaves.
Yes, you read me right... Wet. Leaves. On. The. Toilet. Seat.
Mind you, there were only a couple of leaves to speak of, but that's two too many to not be odd. See, in order for wet leaves to be found on a toilet seat, the person who left them there had to have either placed them there intentionally by hand or, at some point in the recent past, they had to have sat down, bare-assed, in some wet leaves and picked up at least two on a cheek that way.
I briefly considered the possibility that the person who left them had merely had wet leaves on the soles of their shoes and had stood on the toilet seat for whatever reason people have for standing on a toilet seat. However, if your shoes are dirty enough to have wet leaves on them they're dirty enough to leave shoe-prints, and I saw none.
Or, maybe they found the leaves stuck to their shoes while using the restroom, attempted to drop them into the toilet to flush, missed the bowl and then were so terrified of the deadly, ass-bacteria teaming on our toilet seat that they just left them there rather than risk contamination in the removal process.
Yeah, that seems about right.