SETTING: My "liberry," last month, as a man carrying a plastic grocery store bag full of videos and DVDs enters and approaches the circ desk.
MAN— Is this the day that you don't charge fines?
ME— No, actually, that's Friday.
MAN— Oh. (Looks distraught) Well, these are overdue. They were due on the 11th. (Looks worried and holds bag handles guardedly) Could I take them back?
ME— Sure. You're welcome to keep them and bring them back on Friday, if you like.
MAN— But I was hoping to get some more.
(I stand there in silence because if I were to try and speak I would likely come up with "Dude, it's pretty %&#*ing simple. Either you turn in your videos and take your fines or you bring them back on Friday and you don't get fined. It's your choice. The safety's off. How you wanna play this?")
MAN— Well... maybe I can send someone back with them on Friday.
ME— (Seeing now that the man's problem might be one of transportation on Friday) Or, the other option is to put them in our after hours drop box outside. It's fine free all during the week, but we only unlock it when we're closed.
MAN— Well... could I put them in it now?
ME— No. It's locked right now. We only unlock it when we're closed.
MAN— But I wanted some more movies today.
ME— (Shrugs) You're welcome to turn them in, then, but we will have to charge you a fine.
MAN— How much?
(I ask the man how many he has and reconfirm that all ten videos were due on the 11th. I then fetch the calculator.)
ME— Looks like the fine would be $4.50. Actually, it would only be $4, because we have a $4 fine ceiling.
(He again looks distraught as he weighs his options. Does he take the fine now and get some new videos or does he have someone else bring them back on Friday to avoid the fine and go home empty-handed? From his expression, you can pretty much see the argument as it plays out in his head. Eventually, he decides against taking the fine and leaves with his bag of videos.)