An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Actual Telephone Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #121

*RING*

ME— Tri-Metro County Library.

OLDER LADY PATRON— Yes, I called earlier and the girl I spoke to told me to call back about having someone there do my taxes?

ME— Um, well, ma'am, actually we don't offer any kind of tax preparation service here. The only free tax preparation we know of is a local church that will be doing them on the following dates... (reads dates from newspaper clipping we keep stationed by the phone for this very purpose).

OLP— I was told you had two ladies there who did the taxes.

ME— No, ma'am. That information is incorrect. We do not have ANYONE here who is doing taxes. However, the local church I mentioned does have two ladies who will do taxes, but only on the following dates (reads dates again).

OLP— All right. Well, do you have a number I could call for that?

ME— Yes, ma'am. There's a contact number right here. (Reads number.)

3 comments:

Jack said...

Oh man, Juice, you lucked out on that one! We have the AARP folks who volunteer to do the taxes at our library, so from early February onwards to April 15th, the library and its parking lot is crammed full of confused and cranky old people, many of whom call us on the phone first and want to know when we're available to do their taxes for them, then get horribly confused when we tell them we don't do the taxes, personally. It is kind of amusing sometimes to see them wandering around the library. It's always so funny to see how alike some public libraries are, even so far away from ours. Keep up the great work!

finally_a_librarian said...

We received many calls yesterday regarding the Economic Stimulus Payment. Most of them went like this:
"I have a question about the Economic Stimulus Payment. How do I get it?"
Well, if you filed a tax return this year, then if you are eligible you get it automatically."
"But I don't file any returns because I don't make enough money to file it."
"That may be true, but in order to receive the rebate, you must file a return."
"But I don't have to file a return because I'm don't make enough money."
Repeat last 2 sentences several more times, then transfer caller to local senior senior center.

Lisa Genius said...

This year's tax season has been even more hellish than usual thanks to the rebate, and that's saying something. Those AARP folks deserve a liquor basket or something. I've never seen so many clueless people in my life.