Thursday, March 27, 2008

Actual Telephone Conversations Heard At My House #123

(SETTING: My house. Dinner time.)

*RING*

ME— Hello?

(SILENCE)

ME— Hello?

(SILENCE)

*CLICK*

STAN— Hello?

(SILENCE)

ME— Helloooo?

STAN— Hello. Mr. AARON?

ME— Yes?

STAN— Hello, my name is Stan and I'm calling on behalf of (MARKET RESEARCH OPINION POLLING FIRM). We're conducting polling in your area and would like to ask your opinion on a few matters. First of all, do you own your own...

ME— Actually, we don't wish to participate at this time.

STAN— But sir, your opinion is very important.

ME— Oh, I agree. I just don't wish to give it at this time.

STAN— (Cracks up laughing.) Very well. You have a good evening sir.

ME— You too.

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.