Thursday, March 27, 2008

Actual Telephone Conversations Heard At My House #123

(SETTING: My house. Dinner time.)


ME— Hello?


ME— Hello?



STAN— Hello?


ME— Helloooo?

STAN— Hello. Mr. AARON?

ME— Yes?

STAN— Hello, my name is Stan and I'm calling on behalf of (MARKET RESEARCH OPINION POLLING FIRM). We're conducting polling in your area and would like to ask your opinion on a few matters. First of all, do you own your own...

ME— Actually, we don't wish to participate at this time.

STAN— But sir, your opinion is very important.

ME— Oh, I agree. I just don't wish to give it at this time.

STAN— (Cracks up laughing.) Very well. You have a good evening sir.

ME— You too.

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.