An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

"Liberry" Glossary: Patron Squeezings

Patron Squeezings
-noun (plural)

  1. The prints and smears left atop our computer desks following the departure of the majority of our "innanet" crowd patrons. A greasier bunch of human beings would be difficult to imagine. We should have bought stock in surface cleaning/disinfectant spray. Either that or we should start enacting prison-style washdowns in the foyer.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

how about treating them like people who want to swim in a public pool?--all visitors must shower with soap before entering pool area.

Anonymous said...

How does librarian know what ninja is?

Anonymous said...

I used to work in a public library right across the street from one of California's largest hospitals for the mentally ill and we had a former nurse there that spent some time in the hospital herself as a regular patron. She would frequently use the 'puters' while happily muncy wunching on the greasiest potato chips and popcorn imaginable, all along with her stinky bag of aluminum cans... oh how I miss her....