ME— Tri-Metro County Library.
PATRON— Um, yes, I was wondering… I'm calling from out of state and I was wanting to give someone in your area a Christmas present of a… a gift cer… a gift car... or, well, a gift of a library card. Is that what you have there?
ME— Library cards? Yes.
PATRON— I wanted to give them a library card for Christmas. Or, maybe there's a way you could tell if they already have a… an account? Could I do that?
ME— Well, ma'am, we would really need them to apply for… (Pause) Wait, is this for a child or an adult?
PATRON— An adult.
ME— Ah. In that case, ma'am, we would actually need them to apply for that card themselves. See, we require a drivers license number in order to issue cards to adults.
PATRON— So you couldn't just let me give them the card as a gift, then?
ME— I don't think that would work very well for us.
PATRON— (Sadly) Okay.
(Giving library cards as gifts? It's a nice sentiment, I guess. A nice... cheap... sentiment.)