An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Sunday, January 09, 2005

Actual Semi-Paraphrased Second-Hand Information Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #13

THE SCENE OPENS WITH MRS. B, MY FELLOW "LIBERRY" ASS. WORKING A SHIFT ON A SUNDAY AFTERNOON. THE LIBRARY'S GLASSED OUTER FRONT DOOR SLOWLY OPENS AND THE FAMILIAR FACE OF A LONGTIME FEMALE PATRON CAUTIOUSLY PEERS IN.

MRS. B: Hello.

LONGTIME FEMALE PATRON: (Looks shocked) Your... your door is open. (Points to open wooden inner door)

MRS. B: Uh huh.

LONGTIME FEMALE PATRON: (Pauses) Is it okay for me to bring my books in?

MRS. B: Sure.

LONGTIME FEMALE PATRON: I... uh... I was just driving by to put them in the book return, but it was locked. Then I noticed the door was open and wondered what was wrong.

MRS. B: Wrong?

LONGTIME FEMALE PATRON: Yes. I mean it's Sunday, isn't it?

MRS. B:
Yes. But we're open on Sunday.
LONGTIME FEMALE PATRON: (Amazed) You're open on Sunday?!! Oh, my gosh, I didn't know that! How long have you been opening on Sundays?

MRS. B: (Not wanting to embarrass the patron by pointing out that Sunday has been a standard day of operation for nigh unto two decades) Oh, for a while now.

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