Tonight was the "liberry's" Christmas Party, a day I look forward to every year. Why? Cause frankly, we know how to do a work party right. We have all the essentials: food, beer, more food, cookies and sitting around a fire telling funny stories about our crazy patrons. What more could you ask for?
Last year's party was brilliant in concept
if not entirely in execution. Our theme for last year was to have a
Comfort Food Party whereby we brought nothing but stick to your ribs,
carb-laden comfort foods and then gorged ourselves stupid on them.
Genius, no? The extra-genius part, or so we thought at the time, was
that instead of exchanging gifts or doing Dirty Santa or something, we
each baked several dozen cookies, one dozen for each staff-member, and
exchanged those. We also baked an extra dozen which we would share
around Mrs. A's home coffee table. Well, as you can read HERE,
it didn't work out so good. After stuffing our gobs with mashed
potatoes, fried chicken and mac & cheese we had no room or
desire left whatsoever for cookie sampling. I think Mrs. A's dog ate
more cookies than anyone else, but that was mostly because Mrs. B left
her basket of gift cookies lying on the floor where the pooch could get
at it. That, my friends, was one fat beagle.
we decided not to let our eyes get quite as big as our stomachs. We
still did the cookie exchange part, but this year we went with a
different theme. We thought about it long and hard and decided to do an
appetizer party on the grounds that the best part of any meal is the
appetizers. So tonight we had a nice little feast of appetizers. My wife
and I brought both chicken curry dip and spinach artichoke dip
along with the requisite Triscuits and little toasted bread
slices on which to eat it. Other staff members brought cheesy dip,
meatballs, bruchetta, crab dip, and, one of my all time favorites, Li'l Smokies.
Our theory--which admittedly was on shaky ground to start with--is that
by only eating appetizers off of small plates we would somehow have
room left for cookies afterward. However, as we learned, you can stuff a
LOT of appetizers on a small plate. And you can go back for more as
many times as you want. So by the end of the meal, we were all still
pretty stuffed, though not quite as much as last year.
we sat around Mrs. A's fireplace, passed Mrs. C's infant nephew around
the room, kept the dog out of the food and ate cookies and cookies and cookies. Mrs.
C made even made pecan pie bars just for me, as she knows they are my
one true weakness--my Achilles heel, if you will. And yes, even in our
carb-charged euphoria, we still managed to tell a few patron stories.
Mostly old ones about The Dufus
and about other similar computer patrons who refuse to log off when
asked, even when the library is closing. It's a subject my wife has
strong feelings about.
"I keep telling him, he'd have a
lot less trouble with people if he would just scream at them a few
times," she said. "Let someone stay on the computer a bit too long
and just go back and scream `GET THE HELL OFF, NOW!' and that kind of
thing would clear up quick."
The whole reason the
subject of the Dufus came up was because Mrs. C's sister asked if Mrs.
A's house--a house formerly owned by the Dufus's grandmother, I should
add--was haunted. I said, "Well I know one former resident who you'd
better hope never comes back to haunt it." That would be hell to have
the Dufus as a ghost. For one thing, he'd spend all his time hogging up
your computer, replying to his ghost spam and refusing to get off.