An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Back in the Saddle

It actually felt good to be back at the library after a week and a half away.

Everyone had had a great Thanksgiving and were glad to see me, particularly since Mrs. B is out for surgery and recovery for most of this month and I'm nearly the only guy left who can run the desk.

On my way back for water, I found Parka chatting away on the computer (a privilege he should really appreciate considering how some libraries have banned it). He had slung his giant white Michelin Man parka over the screen by the bathroom. As I filled my water bottle at the fountain, I got a good close look at it. It is filthy! It's practically gray. It looks like he'd been truck-sneezed while walking along the side of a muddy road on a rainy day.

[Truck-Sneeze (truk sneez) n. A sudden rush of dirty road-water that is violently deposited upon your car or upon you after an 18-wheeler passes by at great speed on a rainy day.]

Back at the circulation desk, I noticed an enormous stack of FAFSA forms behind the desk. Chester will be overjoyed to see them.

"You think that'll be enough for him?" Mrs. C asked, sensing what I was thinking.

"Yeah. If I wrap a rubber band around them and chunk them at his head."

We decided we should ration the FAFSA forms out to Chester, only allowing him one per day and always keeping them behind the desk so he will have no excuse to go upstairs and search for one while ogling the pre-teens or steal our Teen People magazines.

Did I mention it was good to be back?

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