Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Here I am again on my own...

...going down the only road I've ever.... uh, well... you know.

Yup, that's me. The guy who's starring in the sequel to 10 Hours on a Wednesday at the Library. This time, I'm wearing my K-Swiss walking shoes, which are mighty comfy to stand in for that length of time.

No, the library conference was NOT so exciting that they decided to stretch it into a second week. Instead, I'm here due to a library fund-raising event--yet another in our series of fund-raising events in which we con-scribe our patrons to make things for us to sell on our behalf. In this case, salads and desserts in a luncheon format.

We basically put out tables at a local church with a huge kitchen and start a never-ending salad and dessert buffet. Usually I'm summoned to work the event myself and wind up washing and drying an awful lot of dishes when I'm not running stuff out to the tables. This year, though, they moved it to Wednesday instead of its traditional Thursday date. This means Mrs. B can't woman the library while the rest of us are at the luncheon, cause she's at her other job on Wednesdays, which has less flexible hours. So I'm here running the show while everyone else slings salads.

Am I crying? No. I'd actually much rather be here than over there being tortured by all the sugar-laden goodies that I can't have due to my EXTREME!!! low-carb lifestyle. (And on that note, have you noticed how many of the low-carb food products on the market have words like EXTREME and/or EDGE in their titles? Evidently, we're supposed to take from this that not eating quite as much sugar or empty carbohydrates is the dietary equivalent to bungee jumping, or something. Okay, so I once did get a nasty carpet burn trying to fish a soy chip from beneath the couch, but I don't think it's the same thing.)

So here I be until the luncheon is over. I imagine they'll bring me a doggie bag of salady goodness, but maybe they'll refrain for fear of offending my dietary sensibilities.

Dunno how much "liberry" craziness will go on today, but check back. I might have another running tally.

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.