Honk if you're horny

We had crazy computer traffic this afternoon. Not even the regular Internet Crowd, either, (though I did have to run Parka off at one point before the real competition for computers began). Just patron after patron coming in the door for a computer until we were three deep waiting. Mrs. C said it had been a strange day, with sudden bursts of business and then equal stretches of down time.

"You need to hear what happened to me on Monday, though," Mrs. C said with a grin. "You can add it to your collection of stories."

(What the hell did that mean, anyway? As far as I know, she is unaware of this blog.)

Mrs. C related the following: On Monday, she was working the desk by herself when a gentleman wearing extremely dark sunglasses came in being led by a woman. From the look of them, Mrs. C assumed he must be blind. His guide led him into the children's room and sat him on the sponge kiddie chair for a while before eventually leading the man back into the front room and to the circ desk. Standing at the desk, the man reached out and began feeling along the top of our new flatscreen monitor while his guide and Mrs. C spoke. Shortly after this, the man asked his guide something in a low voice that Mrs. C couldn't hear.

"Well, you can ask her yourself," the guide said. The man seemed reluctant to speak, though, so his guide eventually had to voice his question for him.

"He wants to know if he can feel your face to see what you look like," the guide told Mrs. C.

"Oh. Okay, sure," Mrs. C said. She leaned forward at the desk as the guide reached the blind man's hands out to rest on Mrs. C's chin and jaw. The man felt her chin for a moment. Then, instead of moving upward to feel the rest of her face, his hands immediately reached down and honked onto her breasts. And not just a quick, Oopsie, wrong direction honk, but a good solid double-handed grope.

Now this is the point where, in an ideal world, Mrs. C should have shouted, "All right, Helen Keller, just back the hell off the cans there!" However, Mrs. C was far too shocked to say anything and instead reached her arm across, blocking further access to her rack as she picked up the barcode scanner.

What's truly outrageous about this, though, is that the man's guide said nothing. Didn't seem to notice it, didn't reference it, didn't apologize for it, didn't even try to come up with a polite fiction excuse for it. Nothing. Far from being offended, Mrs. C thinks this is terribly funny and hasn't stopped telling people about it yet. After she told me, she told another regular patron and friend of the library and we all sat around rehashing the details just to laugh about it.

My theory, which I expressed, is that the minute dude got in the car, those glasses came right off and he told his guide, "Well, that was fun. Where you wanna try it next?"