Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #8

ME: Can I help you?

CONSISTENTLY IRRITABLE PATRON WHO'S GIVEN US LOADS OF SHIT IN THE PAST: (Wearily) I don't know.

ME: (Raises eyebrow, preparing for worst)

CIPWGLOSIP: I'm looking for a book on a variety of artists. I'm looking for information about Jackson Pollack.

ME: Ah, okay. (Types "Jackson Pollack" as a keyword search. Nothing comes up.) Hmm. (Types "Pollack, Jackson" as a subject search. Still nothing comes up.) Errr.

CIPWGLOSIP: (As though explaining something to a small child) He was a painter who used to splatter paint on his canvas in order to...

ME: (Interrupting and adopting an irritable tone myself ) Yes. I'm familiar with Jackson Pollack. But we don't seem to have any books specifically about him.

CIPWGLOSIP: I know. The other lady already told me that.

ME: Oh? (I then realize I've been operating on a mistaken assumption, and that CIPWGLOSIP did indeed ask me on a book of various artists and not for one about Pollack specifically, so I should probably not be quite so pissy.) Okay. I see. (Do subject search on Artists. Lots of vague and unhelpful records come up.) Er. (I search under Painters, Art History and a few other things to little avail.) Well, searching under artists and painters seems to be too broad a category and we don't have a lot of books on painters themselves. I'm trying to think of a way to narrow my search down. Wasn't he impressionist? (I meant to say expressionist, but couldn't remember the word.)

CIPWGLOSIP: No. He didn't live during the impressionist period. He was modern.

ME: Ah ha! Modern. (I search for Modern Artists. Three unhelpful records come up, including a book called 19th Century Painters.)

CIPWGLOSIP: There, what's that? 19th Century Painters.

ME: No, that wouldn't be him. He didn't live then either. (I toggle back to my original search screen)

CIPWGLOSIP: No, wait. What was that one at the bottom?

ME: What one at the bottom?

CIPWGLOSIP: Go back.

(I go back to the Modern Artists Search Results)

CIPWGLOSIP: Yeah. 19th Century Artists.

ME: No, that wouldn't be him. He didn't live then.

CIPWGLOSIP: But he was big in the 1960s.

ME: Which occurred during the 20th century.

CIPWGLOSIP: But the 1960's...

ME: Were in the 20th Century. Not the 19th.

CIPWGLOSIP: Oh... (Looks confused. Blinks for a bit. Still doesn't seem to believe me. Finally seems to do the math.) Oh, yeah.