Monday, June 23, 2008

Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #138

SETTING: My "liberry" at the start of the Monday workday. I've taken two armloads of books from our book return when I realize the thing is as full as it could possibly be and not vomit books out of it's door. Instead of making eight trips, I figure it'll be easier to take the removable wheeled book bin from inside the book return housing and roll it inside. The only trouble with this is, it's unbelievably squeaky. My trip across the paving stones outside and then across the tile inside sounded like this...

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
*clunkCLUNKclunkCLUNK*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

(opens outer door)

*CLUNKCLUNK*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
*clunkCLUNKclunkCLUNK*

(opens inner door)

*CLUNKCLUNK*
*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*

(The entirety of the library's population stares at me in deep irritation at the enormity of the sound I am causing)

ME— (Looks up, shrugs) The world's loudest book return.

(Now I can either abandon the thing at the door, or drag it the rest of the way to the circ desk.)

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
*clunkCLUNKclunkCLUNK*

ME— Should probably oil that.

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
*clunkCLUNKclunkCLUNK*

MS. M— You can probably put some WD-40 on those wheels.

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
*clunkCLUNKclunkCLUNK*

ME— Yeah, I know. That's what I said.

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
*clunkCLUNKclunkCLUNK*

MR. W. PERFECT— (Says something I can't hear over the noise)

ME— What?!

*SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE*
*clunkCLUNKclunkCLUNK*

MR. W. PERFECT— (Shouting) You should probably oil those wheels!

ME— Yeah! I know! That's what I said!

(After emptying the contents of the book return onto the circ desk, I picked the whole thing off the floor and carried it out. I then returned for the WD-40 and applied it liberally to the wheels.)

4 comments:

Knit and fall back in it said...

That's all fine and good, but probably what you should have done was oil the wheels.

Gardenbuzzy said...

Yeah, Juice, you really need to oil those wheels. It'll make all the difference.

Mary Ellen said...

I think a little WD-40 would take care of that squeaking...

crsunlimited said...

Drop box carts are funny. The Drop Box cart here at my liberry was purchased the year before my tour of duty started. It had a very loud squeak, and we only brought it in during the morning the hour before we opened to the public. After 2 years of working here I finally had enough of the wheels and I WD-40'ed them. It's been 5 years now and the thing still pulls silently. The other workers here where WOWed by my ability to understand what the cart needed. Not really sure why they where in awe. Maybe it's one of those functional fixedness issues where they understood the cart was for hauling books, but just didn't take into account that it had wheels that could be lubed.


An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.