An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #137

SETTING: My "liberry" as a woman approaches the circ desk during story hour.
LADY— Is there a restroom upstairs?

(I'm not surprised by this question because despite the fact that our main floor technically IS the upstairs, people always seem to assume that there's another floor above us rather than below us and frequently ask us how to "get upstairs.")

ME— Actually, there is no upstairs. Everything's pretty much on this level. There is a restroom downstairs, though.

(The woman gives me a very confused look at this and raises her eyebrows in the usual expression of a soul who'd like directions to ANY restroom. I helpfully point toward the stairwell for her.)

ME— When you come out at the bottom of the stairs, take a left and it's right there.

(The lady heads for the stairs. Meanwhile, I'm wondering why she wants to use the restroom on another level at all when we have a perfectly good restroom on our main floor. In fact, she'd walked directly past it on her way to the circ desk.)

(After a bit, the lady returns to the desk, a little irritated.)

LADY— You do too have a restroom upstairs! It's right over there! (Points toward ladies' restroom which she evidently spied upon returning from downstairs.)

ME— (Slowly it sinks in that I had actually been the one to be confused for a change.) Oh... Yes... Yes, we do at that.

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