An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Wednesday, February 06, 2008

Actual Semi-Paraphrased Second-Hand Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #111

SETTING: My "liberry" as Gene Gene the Geneal0gy Machine comes up to pay for his many many prints, having spent the entire afternoon pounding away at the geneal0gy engine in the company of fellow local genal0gist Mrs. Trout. Mrs. Trout had earlier paid for her own many prints and departed. Ms. D is running the desk.

GENE— (To Ms. D) You know, I like MRS. TROUT, and all, but she sure can talk your ear off.

MS. D— (Stands in stunned silence as she processes the astounding levels of irony contained in Gene's statement.)

GENE— I can hardly get anything done.

MS. D— (Remains unable to speak.)

(Upon hearing this tale recounted, I noted that it's fortunate I wasn't there to hear it personally, for I would have been hard-pressed to keep from saying, "Oh, I know what you mean! I once had to gnaw off my own leg to escape a conversation with YOU.")

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

This reminds me of our patron who frequently smells as if he's rolled in garbage and cat pee. On several occasions he's complained that another patron "smells bad."