Thursday, February 21, 2008

Actual Conversations Witnessed By Me and Therefore Heard in Actual Libraries #115

SETTING: My "liberry" at the circ desk as a female patron approaches. I watch as she engages Ms. M's attention and proceeds to ask a question.

FEMALE PATRON— Um, do you have any... um, returns?

MS. M— (Without so much as a beat for consideration) Do you mean tax forms?

FEMALE PATRON— (Happily) Yeah!

MS. M— Just around the corner there. (Points just around the corner there.)

(The Female patron scurries away for her "returns.")

ME— (Looking in awe at Ms. M) Impressive! I would nehhhhver have gotten that one.

MS. M— Hmm?

ME— That patron asked for "returns" and you knew she meant tax forms. I would never have guessed that in a million!

(Ms. M smiles & shrugs as only someone whose inner English/Patronese dictionary is on overdrive can. I then step into the staff workroom to spread to Mrs. B the news of the amazing feat I have just witnessed. She too is suitably impressed.)


Photo Spread said...

Our patrons just ask, "When's ya'll doing the W-2s?".
My answer: "The volunteer tax preparers are here on Wednesdays and alternate Saturdays."

Anonymous said...

My fave (and it happened again today) is: "I need a 10W40 form. . . "

An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.