Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Actual Telephone Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #89

*DIALING*
*RING*
*RING*
*RING*

MAN— Hello?

ME— Hi, this is JUICE calling from the TRI-METRO County Library. I'm calling for FRANCINE HUGHES.

MAN— She's not here right now.

ME— Can I leave a message?

MAN— Yeah, okay.

ME— Recently FRANCINE checked four books on CD from us, but when she returned them we found that their cases seem to have been soaked in gasoline.

(Pause)

MAN— Oh, no. Aw, man. Oh, I was afraid of... I'm sorry. She put those in the back of my truck, but she didn't know I had gas back there and... well, I guess it's my fault, really. What do we need to do?

ME— We just needed to let her know she needs to pay for those.

MAN— Oh. Oh, man... How much?

ME— $106.73.

MAN— Whoo. (Sadly.) I guess... I guess I'll need to pay for those... then.

ME— Thank you so much.

(While this conversation took place some weeks ago, the audio books in question remain sealed in a Wal-Mart bag atop the far back corner of our circulation desk, as yet unpaid for.)

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Do you think Francine ever got your message? I think maybe you should call again.

Jamie

A Real Librarian said...

Ha - I'm totally not surprised that they are still sitting there! LOVE these 'actually conversations!'

Holley T said...

ah, the classic material-soaked-in-gasoline event...we've had items returned similarly soaked in a variety of substances including but not limited to kerosene, baby oil (I hope), cat urine (I suspect), feces of some sort, toilet paper for a book mark (we know it goes on, no confirmation required thanks), etc. It's amazing the condition in which people will blissfully return books then blow up when we expect them to take responsibility for that.
My favorite excuse...it was not like that when I put it in the book drop. By some miracle, someone was able to get through that teeny little opening with a cat pointed in the proper direction, urine was deployed, and it managed to soak the ONLY book in the bookdrop which you had checked out??? How unfortunate.

Call back, Juice! Get your money!

Tony Kris said...

I personally love when a Patron gives a card, finds out that there's a huge fine on it, then proceeds to give another card under their own name. Real slick.

Also a few alumni of the higher education system of the great state of Mississippi. Love the site and blog


An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.