An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Actual Conversations That Child-Aged Patrons Have Always Suspected Occur in Actual Libraries Now Ocurring in an Actual Library #91

SETTING: My "liberry." The day was otherwise quiet and peaceful until the arrival of "Danger" Ben Stout. I don't know what set him off, but Danger Ben, in short order, began running around the library at top speed, squealing in delight with the full capacity of his little lungs. It sounded as though the child had been given a Red Bull with a banana Runts chaser and then paid a lengthy visit by the Tickle-Monster, who was even then continuing to invisibly chase him. The racket this happy child was making ferociously attacked the spinal columns of every adult in the building, causing us to cringe and wish destruction upon those allowing such noise to continue unabated.

MRS. A— (Wincing at the sounds of glee reverberating from the very walls) It sounds like someone is having too much fun.

ME— Yes. (Pause) We must make it stop.

1 comment:

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