SETTING: My "liberry" as a female patron approaches the circ-desk from the direction of our nonfiction section.
PATRON— Hi. I'm looking for Jane Eyre.
ME— Ah. That will be over in our fiction section, under Brontë.
PATRON— No, I need the biography of her. About her life.
ME— Um... (Pauses again to consider how best to politely break the news to her. Realizes there is no good way. Proceeds...) Jane Eyre is a fictional character in a book written by Charlotte Brontë.
PATRON— (Long pause) Oh. (Long pause) I must have misunderstood.