It seems we've traded one annoying internet hog for another. No one's seen Parka in over a week and a half so we're pretty sure he's gone bye byes. Now we've got a new guy: Nearsighted Dave.
Dave's actually been in before but only stuck around for a couple of
days, hardly putting him in danger of being added to the Rogues Gallery. However, over the past few days he's been trying to rectify that status in a big way.
Dave, perhaps more than any other patron in recent memory, has an
overwhelming hunger for our computers. He signs up for a computer and
makes grumbling sounds when he can't get on one immediately. That's
typical Internet Crowd behavior, mind you, but he takes it a step
further. Nearsighted Dave evidently loves our computers so much that
when he finally gets to use one he has to sit with his face practically
pressed up against the screen itself. I am SO not kidding and SO not
misusing the word "literally" when I say that he literally sits with his
face three inches away from the screen.
this odd enough, but even odder still was the fact that Nearsighted Dave
never seemed to be actually DOING anything with the computer. To the
untrained observer, it appears as though Nearsighted Dave is merely
staring at the screen, perhaps absorbing needed radiation his alien race
requires. Upon closer inspection (i.e. nosy "liberry" ass.
reconnaissance on my part) Nearsighted Dave is actually using a chat
window, which his face entirely blocks when pressed up against the
On Thursday we had to bump Nearsighted Dave off
to allow other patrons to use the computer on at least three separate
occasions. After each bump, he would hurry to the front to sign in again
and would whine and moan about the excruciating 16 minute wait. He also
refused to behave like a nice patron and wait upstairs, out of sight
and out from under foot. Instead, he paced the main room, staring
longingly at our timers.
Nearsighted Dave, at one
point, explained that he had not finished checking his e-mail. According
to him, he has 18 separate e-mail accounts, all of which he must check
regularly. (Oh no, he's not going to cause problems in the future.)