Sunday, May 09, 2004

Fate (and the Law) finally catches up to Jimmy the "Anonymous" Snitch

After darn nigh three months of down-time, there is a bit of movement for the Junior "Liberry" Detectives and the Case of the Illustrious Bladder Thieves.

It seems that Jimmy the "Anonymous" Snitch, the man whose friend and lover/hater The Amazing (Bashful) Bladderboy, (a.k.a. our prime suspect in the theft of the "liberry's" laptop computer last January), is about to go up the river. Not, as you might expect, for having a role in the theft of the library's laptop, but instead for embezzlement from a local fast-food restaurant at which he had been previously employed.

Jimmy's had something of a long history with embezzling from various employers. He'd been to trial once before for embezzlement charges, but from a different restaurant. In fact, our very own Mrs. C served on Jimmy's jury and firmly believed that he was guilty but the prosecution's evidence left more room for doubt than the jury was able to handle so Jimmy walked free and went on to be hired by the above mentioned fast food restaurant. They wound up firing him in 2003 on suspicion of embezzling over $1000 and this is the matter that finally came to trial last week. Jimmy now faces 1 to 10 years in the slammer.

In his trial, Jimmy wound up entering a Kennedy Plea, which means he admits no wrongdoing but is still adjudged guilty by the court and sentenced as such.

Still no word on what became of our laptop, nor of any further cooperation from Jimmy in the matter. Seeing what he knew he was facing, though, it's no wonder he wanted to come forward and rat out his friend who took it. He didn't need any more heat on him. Unfortunately, he seems to have fizzled out when it came to actually cooperating with the authorities (perhaps because we, in turn, ratted him out to them, and didn't allow him to remain anonymous in the matter, as he so desired) so we'll likely never see the computer again.

Than again, after his sentencing in July, it'll probably be a while before we see Jimmy again either.

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.