An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Actual Telephone Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #83

Usually when people phone the "liberry" and ask to speak to someone by name, it's one of the staff they're referring to. On the rare occasion that people have phoned to speak to patrons, an explanation of precisely who they want to talk to is given first. Not so with the New Devil Twins Auxiliary League of Neighborhood Kids.

*RING*

ME— Tri Metro County Library.

KID— Yeah, can I speak to Michael?

ME— I'm sorry, no Michael works here.

KID— No, I just need to speak to Michael.

(Pause)

ME— I'm sorry, but there is no Michael employed here.

KID— No. I know he doesn't work there. But he's there. He's on the computer? He's a kid on the computer?

(Long seething pause)

ME— There are no children currently on any of our computers.

KID— But he was supposed to be there.

ME— Well... he's not.

3 comments:

PiratePrincess said...

LOL, We get calls like that all of the time at my liberry. I had one tonight, in fact, in which the patron on the phone was looking for a guy and went as far as to describe him as "a tall, good-looking guy with dark hair..." UMM, I think I'm going to need a bit more to go on than that. :-|

Anonymous said...

Anonymous,

Heh.

Give it time.

Anonymous said...

I had a patron who was looking for another patron and described him as "he looks like Jarvis Cocker". Sadly, i knew exactly who they were talking about.