Usually when people phone the "liberry" and ask to speak to someone by name, it's one of the staff they're referring to. On the rare occasion that people have phoned to speak to patrons, an explanation of precisely who they want to talk to is given first. Not so with the New Devil Twins Auxiliary League of Neighborhood Kids.
ME— Tri Metro County Library.
KID— Yeah, can I speak to Michael?
ME— I'm sorry, no Michael works here.
KID— No, I just need to speak to Michael.
ME— I'm sorry, but there is no Michael employed here.
KID— No. I know he doesn't work there. But he's there. He's on the computer? He's a kid on the computer?
(Long seething pause)
ME— There are no children currently on any of our computers.
KID— But he was supposed to be there.
ME— Well... he's not.