An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Actual Telephone Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #82

*RING*

ME— Tri-Metro County Library.

TELEMARKETER— (Female voice with thick Indian accent) Hello, my name is (name said too quickly to catch) and I am calling on behalf of (company name said too quickly to catch). May I please speak to the owner of the business?

ME— Um, this is a public library.

TELEMARKETER— Yes. May I please speak to the owner of the business?

(Pause)

ME— Well, that's going to be kind of hard. There are quite a few of them.

TELEMARKETER— I'm sorry?

ME— This is a public library.

TELEMARKETER— Yes. May I please speak to the... May I... Maybe you can help me to understand?

ME— We're a PUBLIC. LIBRARY.

TELEMARKETER— Are you a person who is able to make decisions for the business?

ME— No. I am an employee of a public library. I can't make decisions.

TELEMARKETER— May I speak to someone who is able to make decisions for the business?

ME— No. She's not here at the moment, but she doesn't take sales calls.

TELEMARKETER— But I am not selling you something, yet.

ME— Even so.

TELEMARKETER— I would please like to ask you a few questions about your...

ME— I'm sorry, but I don't think I can answer your questions. I'm the only employee at work right now and I need to go.

TELEMARKETER— When would be a more convenient time to call back?

ME— Again, my boss does not take sales calls or telemarketing calls. We're a public library. We're not really set up for this sort of thing.

(Long pause)

TELEMARKETER— Thank you very much, and have a good evening.

ME— You too.

*CLICK*

PATRON STANDING AT DESK— Dude, you were far more patient with them than I would have been.

(The moral of this story is that apparently not only are America's help desk jobs being outsourced overseas, but now our telemarketing jobs are as well.)

5 comments:

Saisquoi said...

Oh man. Those are some of my favorite phone calls. Especially fun when I get them at the religious library where I consult...

And you were way more patient than I would have been.

tiny robot said...

"ME— No. I am an employee of a public library. I can't make decisions."

Awwww...you poor thing! :-)

But seriously, I can't call any company it seems without getting someone with a very thick accent who can only read from a script. As for incoming telemarketing calls, I just don't answer the phone. That's the beauty of caller ID.

Angel, librarian and educator said...

No kidding. You were indeed a lot more patient. At home, I don't pick the phone either, let the answering machine do it and screen. Have not had that type of call in my library yet, but it may be a matter of time.

I have to agree with tiny robot, seems no matter the company, their help desk has been outsourced. Which is why I rarely call any help desk, if ever.

Best, and keep on blogging.

Anonymous said...

No. I am an employee of a public library. I can't make decisions.

OH LORD I LOL'ED

Anonymous said...

In Aust we have a 'do not call' register. You register your phone number on a website set up by the govt and telemarketers are not allowed to call the number or they get fined.
As for off-shoring, try living here, everything used to get offshored to US, now it is to India via the US...
Pretty funny at work though, it takes so long to set up a contract with our library I am sure they give up.