It's been kind of a slow week, though not exactly uneventful.
Crusty the Patron
has returned. So has his crust and odor, though a bit less of both than
we've seen in the past. He's been gone since October, but then again
he'd disappeared for a couple of years before that, back when he was
only known as Nearsighted Dave.
My theory is that he has relatives, perhaps even a son, in the area, as
we've seen him with a kid in the past. So far he hasn't given us near
the trouble we've had from him before, though he's certainly not as
clean as we'd appreciate.
"Crusty the Patron is leaving
crust again," I told Mrs. A, scratching my own beard to demonstrate
Crusty's dandruff harvesting habit.
"Is he on the computer now?" she asked.
"Well, some of him is."
The other major revelation of the week is a rumor picked up by Mrs. A, to the effect that Mr. Crab
has "lost" his "liberry" card yet again. Mrs. A didn't elaborate where
she heard the rumor, but I suspect he probably came in over the weekend
and gave one of the greenhorns hell about it and they told her. She
relayed the rumor to me knowing full well I will probably be the one
manning the desk when he attempts to bully his way out of having to have
it, knowing full well I, of all employees, won't back down for him.
Frankly, I think he "lost" it on purpose just so he'd have the excuse to
raise hell. Well, that and his never-ending quest to achieve his
ultimate dream of being allowed into the legendary, yet still no less
mythical, club of special patrons who don't have to have their cards to
check out books. (We give `em free coffee too, which they may leisurely
drink, without a lid, at the computers.) Mrs. A threatened to leave an
extra dollar in the cash box, earmarked to pay for the man's
replacement card, just so I wouldn't have to put him in the hurt locker.
"Oh, no," I said. "I believe our policy states you have to pay $5 for a second replacement card."
I might just let her leave the dollar, just so I can gleefully inform
Mr. Crab that he's now in dutch to us for a dollar, which he can pay
back by increasing his much remarked upon annual $200 donation all the
way to $201.