- JUICE— (ME) A now former "liberry" ass. (assistant)/ninja at the "Tri-Metro" County Public "Liberry" in the Town A/Town B/Town C Tri-Metro area of small WV towns. Has now moved to Borderland, WV, where he is pursuing a variety of writing, web and graphics related gigs. (First Appearance)
- THE WIFE— A former medical student, turned full-fledged physician. Non-"liberry" personnel. (First Appearance)
- MRS. A— "Liberry" Director, all around great boss. (First Appearance)
- MRS. C— Assistant "Liberry" Director, another fine human being. (First Appearance)
- MRS. B— Fellow "liberry" ass. and also very cool. (First Appearance)
- MRS. J— Sexagenarian "liberry" ass. in charge of all things cleaning and plant-watering. Prone to heart attacks, hearing lapses and fits of generosity. (First Appearance)
- MS. M— Former Newbie Greenhorn "liberry" ass. Recently graduated to full "liberry" ass. status with all the benefits that come with it. (First Appearance)
- MS. D— The most recently added "liberry" ass. (First Appearance)
- LENNIE— Mentally handicapped volunteer assistant "liberry" ass. who comes in twice a week to hang out, though is no longer allowed to shelve books. Has deathly fear of song "YMCA" by the Village People. (First Appearance) (Whole Saga)
- MISS TEMP— Temporary Newbie Greenhorn "liberry" ass. Was promoted to full "liberry" ass. status within three months on the job. Left for a job in the real world for a couple of years, but returned to the fold shortly after my departure. (First Appearance)
FORMER CAST MEMBERS
- WINSTON— Our cat. Formerly infinitely bad, now not so much. Prone to trouble. Spoiler alert, she died, April 2008. Non-"liberry" personnel. (First Appearance)
- MR. KRESKIN— Our former president of the board of directors who used to phone us only when both librarians were away. (The Kreskin Saga)
- MRS. H— Former weekend warrior "liberry" ass. who now runs Town-D's branch. (First Appearance)
- MISS E— Former weekend warrior "liberry" ass. who abandoned her job with no notice and who we suspect may have been stealing us blind. (First Appearance)
- MISS K— Former weekend warrior "liberry" ass. who graduated highschool and left for college. (First Appearance)
- MISS. F— Former highschool aged weekend warrior Newbie Greenhorn "liberry" ass. Left for college. (First Appearance)
- MS. S— Former evergreenhorn "liberry" ass. Was never promoted to full "liberry" ass. status and lived on to menace us from beyond "liberry" employment. (First Appearance)
