Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #139

SETTING: My "liberry" on a Monday, a day when there are traditionally only two staff members present neither of whom are Mrs. A or Mrs. C. It's a time that is ripe for issues I've never had to deal with, despite my seven years in the "liberry" ass./ninja game, to crop up. Mr. B-Natural, grumpiest old man in all the world, approaches the circ desk.

MR. B-NATURAL— Yeah, I need you to have them fax me a (STOCK RELATED DOCUMENT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF).

ME— Them who?

MR. B-NATURAL— The... the people that... They've done it for me here before.

ME— Done what here for you before?

MR. B-NATURAL— Faxed me the (STOCK RELATED DOCUMENT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF). I just told `em to fax me over the (STOCK RELATED DOCUMENT I'VE NEVER HEARD OF) and they called and had it faxed. Call up Charleston.

ME— Call up who in Charleston?

MR. B-NATURAL— (Agitated) Ya just call Charleston and have `em fax it. MRS. C's done it for me before.

ME— And that's what I'm asking you-- call who in Charleston?

MR. B-NATURAL— (Gives off a growl, then looks over my shoulder as though looking for someone in the staff workroom) Is MRS. C here?

ME— (Anticipating his next question) Neither of them are here today.

MR. B-NATURAL— Is MRS. A here?

ME— (Using exactly the same tone of voice and inflection from five seconds earlier) Neither of them are here today.

MR. B-NATURAL— (Mumbles something and walks away.)

Half an hour later, Mr. B-Natural returns to again try both my patience and to get me to call Charleston concerning this document he so desperately needs. I decide that as I have no other authority figures in house, the least I can do is phone Mrs. S at Town-C's branch to see if she knows what the hell he's talking about. Sure enough, it's a very common document as far as stock-related documents go and she gives me the name of someone in Charleston to ask for. I phone them, they don't give any indication that this is a hassle and have the documents faxed over within five minutes. Mr. B-Natural leaves with them in hand, a couple of dollars lighter in pocket, and a spring in his step at having made me dance his dance.

1 comment:

Ponytail said...

I'm a bitch. I would have waited until he'd told me what was coming and who was in Charleston. I don't normally play the P/A games with users, but this guy seems like a rude twat.


An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.