Thursday, April 05, 2007

Actual Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #77

SETTING— My "liberry." Two ladies are searching through our collection of tax forms, trying to figure out which forms they will need for their respective tax preparations. At this point, one of them had already approached me for tax form advice, which I refused to give on the grounds that I have no business giving anyone advice on taxes even if library policy allowed me to, which it most certainly does not. We provide forms, we do not provide advice on what to do with those forms. So she returned to our tax form display and continued her search.

LADY 1— They say you can go on the computer and it will tell you everything you need to know. (NOTE: By "they" she was referring to THEY, not us.)

LADY 2— Hm. You should go to the library and do that.

(Pause)

LADY 1— Go to the library?

LADY 2— Yeah. You should go to the library and check on that.

(Pause)

LADY 1— This IS the library.

(Pause)

LADY 2— Oh, yeah. (Pause) I meant the library in TOWN-M.

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.