Friday, March 11, 2005

Actual Terrifying Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #21


MRS. C: Hey, JUICE. Got an internet question for you.

ME: Okay.

MRS. C: What's a blog?

(My heart does that thing where it stops beating for several seconds. All the blood backs up into my eyes making them go all tingley and stuff. Mrs. C walks over with a piece of paper that turns out to be from some library-related place, possibly from the library commission, but I didn't get a good look at it cause I was too busy trying to get my blood-engorged eyes to focus on anything that might look like it leads back to me. I can't find anything. Finally, I see that Mrs. C is pointing to a listing for Blogs that's nestled among those for other such online creatures.)

ME: (Adopting what I hope is a nonchalant tone.) They're like online journals.

MRS. C: Oh, like diaries.

ME: Yeah.

MRS. C: (Taking paper away.) Okay. I just wondered and figured you would know.

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An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.