An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Trout Fishing In America

Gene Gene the Geneal0gy Machine arrived for one of his daily research sessions. As I was logging him onto his computer he said, "I see you're back."

"Yep," I said, wondering where I'd been hiding that he hadn't seen me recently. No, I'd really like to know, cause I want to go back there and stay.

"I see you're back," he repeated.

"YEP," I repeated at a louder tone. Then I noticed Gene wasn't talking to me at all. He was talking to Mrs. Trout, who was seated on the opposite row of our computer station.

Before the advent of Gene, Mrs. Trout (and to a lesser extent, Mabel) had been our resident amateur geneal0gist. These days we see less and less of her, which is unfortunate because we prefer Mrs. Trout to Gene at a 29 to 1 ratio. In addition to being a sweet and grandmotherly lady, we primarily love Mrs. Trout because she keeps the mind-numbingly boring details of her geneal0gy work to herself and doesn't try to lecture about them to anyone who strays within five feet of her. Unfortunately for her, Gene seems to have figured out that they share a hobby.

From the circ desk, I could hear their entire conversation as Gene began expounding upon his latest research breakthroughs to Mrs. Trout. At one point, Mrs. Trout mentioned that she hadn't had much luck recently, at which point Gene inquired as to what online geneal0gy services she was using. She told him and he gave off a polite yet derisive snicker. His sources, I inferred, were far superior.

"What's your last name?" he asked.

Ah ha, I thought, now he was going to look her up and do her entire family history just to demonstrate how superior his online sources truly were.

"Well, it's my mother's people I'm researching," Mrs. Trout said.

"But what's your last name?" Gene said.

"My last name is my husband's last name," Mrs. Trout said gently. "It's my mother's people I'm looking for."

"But what's your last name?" Gene insisted.

Mrs. Trout finally told him and Gene launched into his search. Mrs. Trout then wrapped up her computer time, paid for her prints and departed swiftly thereafter.

2 comments:

tiny robot said...

Oh, that poor woman. She should have asked Gene was his last name was and then mumbled and made him think there was now a hex on him.

Anonymous said...

She should have given him a common name that is impossible to trace---like John Smith!!!