An employee of a small town "liberry" chronicles his quest to remain sane while dealing with patrons who could star in a short-lived David Lynch television series.

Friday, April 09, 2004

Actual Telephone Conversations Heard in Actual Libraries #3

*RING*

ME: TRI METRO County Public Library.

CALLER: Uh, yes. I'm calling from Michican and I've been trying to call the TRI METRO Inn for the last hour and, well, no one's answering. I tried their 1-800 number and I tried the other number that was listed but no one is answering.

ME: (FOR SEVERAL SECONDS STARES BLANKLY INTO SPACE IN DISBELIEF THAT THE LIBRARY IS NOW ASSUMED RESPONSIBLE FOR LOCAL HOTELS NOT ANSWERING THEIR PHONES.) Oh. Um. Well. Okay. How can I help you, then?

CALLER: Do you know if they're closed or if there's any reason they wouldn't be answering?

ME: Uhhhhh. Well, no. Not really. No reason that I know of. (TO FELLOW EMPLOYEES) Do any of you know if Tri Metro Inn is closed? No? (TO CALLER) No, sir. No one here seems to know why they aren't answering their phone either.

CALLER: I just... I just... I'm calling from Michigan. I just thought maybe you would... know.

ME: (OPENS PHONE BOOK AND LOOKS UP TRI METRO INN) Is the number you called XXX-XYZZ?

CALLER: Yes.

ME: Yup. That's their number. Can't imagine why they wouldn't answer it.

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