The Purple Nun, Part II

It turns out, the Purple Nun, a.k.a. Mrs. J.C. Lord, firmly believed herself to be the wife of both Jesus Christ AND the Holy Ghost. Now I realize that being the bride of Christ is kind of the whole bag for most nuns, but she actually took it a few steps further. According to her, the three of them were living in wedding bliss in an apartment downtown. The Nun also tended to refer to herself in the plural, unless she was just giving her name out. I once heard her do this when phoning the local Tri-Metro Transit Authority for a lift. I guess she figured out it was easier to do when she just said, "This is Mrs. Lord and I need to be picked up..." rather than, "Jesus, the Holy Ghost and I need a lift to the Save-A-Lot."

Mrs. B's involvement with the Nun was much more extensive than my own. Mrs. B has a natural kind nature that shines through in her demeanor. It's an admirable quality to have but it's one some of our more eccentric patrons have picked up on and have gone out of their way to take advantage of.

For instance, one of our eccentric patrons broke her leg and began calling the library asking for reading material as she couldn't easily get out of her house. Not only did she want reading material but she wanted us to deliver it to her. Mrs. B had taken this call and decided that since the lady lived just down the street it wouldn't be much trouble to run a few books over. A couple days later, the lady called for more. And more. And more. Finally, there was a day that Mrs. B couldn't come due to other obligations. The broken-legged patron was furious and accused Mrs. B of not wanting to help out and accused the library of not serving the public by not hand-delivering her books to her at her whim. After that, Mrs. B told the woman outright that she wouldn't be delivering ANY more books and that the lady could come get them herself. So the patron did by having a relative drive her up to the library and then honking the horn of the car until one of us came out to take her order. Mrs. A but a stop to that behavior, toot sweet.

The Purple Nun was also one such advantage-taking sort of patron. Mostly she just used Mrs. B as a confidant, telling her at one point that she, the Nun, had recently been visited by the police. They apparently wanted to talk to her because she had been accused of physically attacking someone. We know no details on this, but the Nun herself even admitted that it wasn't the first time she had been accused of physical assault. She seemed highly surprised that anyone would accuse her of any such thing, but the police seemed to think otherwise.

Some time later, the Purple Nun persuaded Mrs. B to give her a lift to a hospital in a neighboring county where the Nun was to undergo cancer treatments. Up until this point we had no idea the Nun even had cancer. We certainly couldn't rule it out, though.

A few days before they were to leave, the Nun negotiated with Mrs. B to go visit some friends of hers in the hinterlands of the other county, considerably out of their way, following her cancer treatments. Mrs. A immediately suggested that there were no cancer treatments and that the Nun just wanted to go somewhere for a visit but didn't think anyone would give her a lift unless it was for a more serious reason. Mrs. B didn't much like the situation but agreed to it provided the Nun called ahead to her friends to make sure they knew she was coming. The Nun assured her she would.

During the journey, the Nun made small talk by mentioning that she thought she was close to getting her son back. Mrs. B had heard rumors about the Nun having had a son, but she wasn't sure if this kid didn't fall into the same category of questionable physical presence that his Dads J.C. and the H.G. occupied. Nope, he was apparently very real and living with a foster family in another state. The Nun didn't much like his foster family because they didn't much like her and evidently listened in on the phone conversations that they allowed her to have with the boy. The family wasn't too keen on the Nun saying bad things about them to her son and had curtailed many a call that drifted into that line of conversation.

Following the Nun's treatment at the hospital, she and Mrs. B drove out to see the Nun's friends who were, surprise, surprise, not at home.

The Nun got out and knocked. And knocked. And knocked. And eventually went around to the rear of the house, panicking Mrs. B who was just imagining the woman breaking into the home somehow. After nearly a half hour of this, Mrs. B insisted they had to leave at which point the Nun became enraged and started yelling at her. Mrs. B, usually a quiet and unconfrontational woman, then screamed back at the nun that she had given her a lift to be nice but if the Nun didn't calm down she was never getting a ride anywhere ever again. This seemed to work. It was, however, not the last lift Mrs. B would give the Purple Nun, nor the last household that refused to answer the door at the Nun's knock.

(TO BE CONCLUDED...)